dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
