how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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