You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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