it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
