return my video game
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
