do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
