She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
