Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
