my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
