I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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