My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
