Whatcha textin bout Willis?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
