11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
you have to choose: penises or morals?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
