Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
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