I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
