So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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