Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Randomize
