Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
