just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
