i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
