He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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