I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
This can only be settled by a dance off.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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