Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
