my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I am in a vortex of obligation.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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