He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
