Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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