Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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