Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
