They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
