Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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