I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Randomize
