I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
