Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
