Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
