turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
