You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
