who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
