the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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