Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
