Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
