My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
