he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
