so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
