At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
