I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I have surprise drugs for everyone
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Randomize
