yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
