I hate all girls vehemently.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
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