I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
