I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
We got so high we made milksteak
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
