Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
